A letter to the Queen I will never send:
Dear Queen Elizabeth II,
Congratulations for being on the throne for 60 years, that's quite an accomplishment. Let's go over a few things you have achieved.
Once Pierre Trudeau historically made changes to the Canadian constitution in 1982 to allow us to be in control of our own legislation, you continued allowing your face to appear on any newly minted coin ever since. I must say, 60 years of vanity has done wonders for your skin.
In 1988, even though Canada was, and still is to an extent, a constitutional monarchy, you turned the other cheek when Brian Mulroney established a deal with Ronald Reagan for North American free trade. You played dumb, when you had to know the deal was the kiss of death for Canadian sovereignty.
A thoroughly embarrassing televised statement in 1995, imploring the Quebecois to reconsider separation from Canada during the referendum. I'm quite sure your patronizing and naive words helped generate even more supporters of separation and civil unrest. Even those strongly opposed to separation were swayed after your televised speech. So, thank you for that.
I could go on about numerous problems and natural disasters in the past 15 years where no one from England provided any aid. Floods, ice storms, yet I don't recall your presence. Regardless, the more I write, the more I realize the only thing you have to celebrate is 60 years of irresponsible dictatorship.
Enjoy your day, which will be partially funded by 7.5 million dollars of Canadian money, while our Prime Minister spends 30 million dollars on fighter jets.