A healthy dose of political satire. You can find the original article here.
Harper's Canada Hates the United Nations
By Smear Canada, Dark Ages Media News
OTTAWA – The Harper government threatened to send an envoy's head back to the United Nations headquarters for daring to acknowledge the self-righteousness all Canadians have been witnessing for the past six years.
The UN right-to-food envoy, Olivier De Schutter, who spoke in calm, intelligent and honest terms, attempted to inform Harper's convulsive government during a press conference held in Ottawa of the violating basic human rights in Canada. Harper's government, who no Canadian voted for, has been caught red-handed.
“It's not because the country is a wealthy country that there are no problems. In fact, the problems are very significant and, frankly, this sort of self-righteousness about the situation being good in Canada is not corresponding to what I saw on the ground, not at all," said De Schutter, pointing to up to 900,000 households and 2.5 million people in Canada who, he found, are too poor to afford adequate diets.
The chosen person to respond to De Schutter turns out to be Jason Kenney, the minister of immigration. Apparently, Harper's government now feels only the person in charge of immigration can speak for those who were born in Canada. Kenny responded with a tantrum that puts Fox News to shame.
“The UN should focus its efforts on those countries where there is widespread hunger, widespread material poverty and not get into political exercises in developed fake democracies like Canada. We don't think that's a very intelligent use of their resources and we don't like those big hard word," Kenney mumbled to reporters on Parliament Hill.
Kenney fails to realize if Harper's government knew how to run a democratic country, there would be no need to receive a spanking from an UN envoy. Instead, Kenney appeared to be offended by his first foray into of S & M.
“I think this is completely ridiculous. Canada has one of the most underground S & M communities in the world. According to us, we believe the UN should focus on development in countries where people can't even afford a cheap rubber whip and we think it's simply a waste of resources to come to Canada to give political lectures about citizen's total denial of the genocide we're trying to commit here,” Kenney added.
De Schutter stood his ground when he faced a firing squad, who were useless against his armor, at the close of his surprise 11-day visit to Canada, the first to a developed country, which caught Harper's bullies off guard and showed their true colours.
"Well, of course it's political. The right to food is about politics, it's not about technicalities," De Schutter calmly responded to Kenney's heap of dung. "It's a matter of principle and it's a matter of political will. I think these comments are symptomatic of the very problem that is my duty to address and that my mission should indeed elicit such comments so that this becomes a national conversation at the highest level of government."
The probe took De Schutter to Toronto, Montreal and Winnipeg, where he held meetings about the challenges facing people on social assistance to pay for adequate housing and food. He also visited remote aboriginal communities in Manitoba and Alberta to see first-hand the living conditions, where people face very steep food prices and few economic opportunities.
"People are simply too poor to eat decently," De Schutter said, concluding that Canada is not abiding by its international human-rights obligations and calling on Canada to develop a national food strategy "aimed at realizing the right to food."
Of course, this interferes with Harper's genocide plans to eliminate the poor and the Aboriginals. The ministers gave consistent responses fitting for puppets owned by a self-proclaimed fictional monarchy, much to the dismay of the watching world.
When all cabinet ministers refused to meet with De Schutter as his request, a last-minute meeting was organized with Leona Aglukkaq, minister of health. Aglukkaq, falsely representing the riding of Nunavut, responded by calling De Schutter "ill-informed" and "patronizing" about the challenges facing aboriginals in Canada's Arctic communities. She also said she was "disappointed" by her meeting with him and "insulted" that he "chose to study us, but chose not to visit us." She made it abundantly clear she does not appreciate the exhibitionism involved with a public spanking.
Clearly, she and the other ministers prefer to receive spankings in private and didn't reach orgasm at all.